Ladyboys

The ubiquitous Thai ladyboy.  Seen working everywhere from tit bars to 7-11’s.  Some much more obvious than others.  There are those that put exquisite care into their appearances, perfect hair, minutely detailed nails, curve accentuating clothes, a well-practised hip swing even in killer heels, bouncing bosoms, painted up in an idea of unmitigated femininity.  However, as beautiful as they look, everyone knows they are a man, there isn’t a single woman on the planet, bar the Beckham’s of this world, who put that much effort into looking good (and one could argue she looks more a pretend woman rather than a real one).  And then there are the less bothered ones.  They got the silicon slipped under their skin, creating weird little mounds, like wonky teacakes, and ta-da, that’s it, effort done with.  They might shave a couple of times a week, and for those lazy days, slap on a bit of extra foundation to try and conceal the prickly bits of hair poking out over their top lips.  A pair of sling backs might be evident, but there is no tottering; the ape like lunging steps, lolling from side to side, show the lack of commitment to the attire they have adorned.  And the trousers, designed for a little hip and arse, flap their loose bits as flags to an unsuited body shape.

Then there are unfortunate consequences when the ladyboys get old.  As they are still men, and either due to a half-hearted commitment to becoming a woman, or lack of funds, still have male hormones.  Sadly there comes a point in a ladyboys life, as it does in most men’s life that is feared, dreaded and as unmentionable as the real size of a girlfriends arse.  The hair starts to recede and thin around the crown – I think it is called a monkeys arsehole, as I was once charmingly informed.  For the ladyboy, there is no option of shaving it all off and being done with it.  That would look even weirder –right?  So they are stuck with it, well without it really.  The long luscious locks that have previously been swished in younger years of faux-feminine glory, are faded and thin, so regardless of the efforts made to wax that man right out of ones moustache, the monkey’s arse has the last, cruel, laugh.

They don’t like me either.   I am being shunned on a daily basis by the ladyboy.  I am not sure what it is about me they dislike so much, but if I have to deal with one in some way, they generally give me some sort of diva-ish attitude, with a wrist bent, offering me a dismissive hand, and head turned slightly away, eyes looking blankly elsewhere, indicating that they would really rather not have to bother with me, faking indifference.  Seeing as this attitude is evident before I even speak, I can only assume it has something to do with how I look or hold myself.  A Thai lady told me it was just because I was a woman.  I will have to ask some other female farangs to see if they are also subjected to this bizarre discrimination.

But one question I would really like answered is this.  Why are there so many ladyboys in Thailand?  I understand that the Thai’s are generally very tolerant, but that doesn’t explain why so many of the men want to be women.  If the same tolerance where allowed in other countries of the world, would there be more Western men squealing over Take That and discussing diets, would Indian men be sashaying around in sequinned saris and complimenting each other on their biryani’s, and would Arab men be embracing the burkha, adorning it with pretty sparkles so their personalities shimmered though?