Haggling

I love haggling.  I keep trying to find more things to buy so I can indulge myself.  After an initial shaky start and a relenting nature I have turned into a master-barterer.  I don’t go in for pretending I want something else and then slowly getting around to the item I am genuinely interested in, pretending to the shop keeper that is the less preferable option.  I tell them exactly what I want, and if they have it I unequivocally let them know that I will, under certain conditions, be happy to buy it from them.   I also don’t halve the price they go in with as an opening offer.  Neither do I spend ages um-ing and ah-ing over a few rupees to meet them in the middle.  All these methods lead only to a very happy shopkeeper, and me being out of pocket.

My techniques are simple.  I let the vendor know what I am after, and ask them how much they want for it.  Whatever price they come up with, I feign a look of incredulity and tell them very firmly, with a smile of course, that under no uncertain terms will I be buying the item at that price.  I ask them to give me a better price, and they might knock a little off.   Then I will think of the price I will be happy to pay, usually around a third of what they are asking, and proffer a little less than this.   The trick is then to stay at this price.  Never waver, show no weakness, and remain firm and completely resolute.  Do not concede a single rupee. Very firmly and politely, I let them know that the price I have offered is the only one I am willing to pay.  They will invariably try and engage me in a price negotiation, often saying that they will make no profit from the price I have offered.  But still it is imperative not to yield, hold eye contact, keep smiling, and stand strong.   If they are stubborn or have misread my resolve, and continue to try and make me increase my price, politely, I hand the items back to the vendor and tell them one last time that I will only buy the item at the price I have already stated.  Then comes the best bit.  As I start to walk out the shop, realising that they can’t let a sale go by, they name a price very close to the one I have been offering them.  Ha-ha, got them!  I   graciously accept their counter offer.  They initially feel good that they have got me to move on price, but that soon fades when they realise that they have not made the exorbitant amount of money they wanted to on the sale.  Quite frequently, when they have become aware of this they will ask for more, but it is too late, the deal has been made.  ‘Please, make me happy, 100 more rupees.’ 

If the vendor is smiling when I walk out of the shop I do not consider myself to have a bartered well, if they are reticent, I am pleased with my efforts. 

I take far too much pleasure in seeing these shop keepers pissed off after I have bought something from them, and gloat for hours over my victory.