Mum and Dad Brooker just left. Damn them, they almost had me wiping salty droplets from my eyes, luckily some stiff upper lips were pursed tightly and we all managed to contain our brimming eyes. Alex swiftly ordered in some more drinks which gave us each enough time to contract our tear ducts and contain the briny offerings to all our dear friends and family that we will miss tremendously.
I am now faced with the dilemma to call the others said I would. Can my emotional stamina hold out, or am I going to be blubbing into the bean burger I just ordered?
As for going, still not feeling excited, but neither am I indifferent. I cannot think of anything I would rather be doing with myself at this point in my life. This venture is just something that needs to happen. A chance to reinvent the aspects of my life I am unhappy with. And I am very lucky, there is only one aspect I want to change, my life is wonderful and filled with things many can only dream of, I am in no way unappreciative of the exceptionally good fortune I have been born into, but this bloody work thing, I have got to sort that out! That is my mission for going, finding something that I will be realistically happy to spend my life doing to earn a bit of dollar to do all that conventional stuff that I also want, a roof over my head, warmth, and a family (shhh don’t tell Alex). I don’t want to spend my days resenting the minutes that I give up to the pursuit of money; that is a desperately sad way to spend the one life I have been blessed with. I want to enjoy my days and feel that the passing time is a pleasure.
Anyhow, as for how I am feeling, if anything I am feeling a little run down, which may well be a result of the manic few weeks I have just had trying to get to see as many of my wonderful friends as possible. Quite possibly I need to shut down for a bit to get a good grasp of the next year. A few cold glasses of wine are helping me ease into a more lethargic state, I have a year to sort it out anyhow…..
Wine, there’s something I’m not going to be tasting for a while….it’s all moonshine from here on in….those poor poor Indians, they know not what is about to land on their monsoon whipped shores.
Well, I think I will go now, so Alex and I can stare at each other in apprehensive expectation for what we are about to do.
Farewell friends, I shall be in touch soon from rainier climes……xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment