Monday, 23 July 2012

Shame www.wanderingwendyswonderings.blogspot.com


I just assumed he was a taxi driver.  The way he hurried into the place, shoulders rounded, a small plastic bag swinging off his wrist.  A girl with a backpack had followed him into the front patio of the guest house and was waiting, studying a map.  It was only when he left, minus the plastic bag, and then returned again, a few minutes later that our suspicions arose.

We were enjoying a port and stilton night.  A silly evening, serving as a little reminder of home after 9 months absence.  It had been planned while we were in Tioman, to give us something to look forward to in Kuala Lumpur.  Back at the Number 8 guest house.  Where, a month previously, Alex’s passport, credit cards and cash had been stolen from our room.  An audacious little thief had walked into our room one morning, while I lay asleep, and snatched it from the bedside table.  We were now in possession of a clear passport, and were just waiting for the new credit card to arrive.  Then we could finally move on, head towards the mountains, hide amongst the Himalayas.  But there was just a little more waiting to be done.

In our absence the guest house owner had installed security cameras, and caught three people trying the door knobs of rooms, looking for an opportunity.  Two were guests of the hotel, one had been staying while we were last here, the likely culprit, the other a taxi driver.


There was an uncomfortable look about the man walking back in.  A shadow cast across his demeanour.  Quick moving eyes and a tight unwilling smile.  Alex and I exchanged a look, suspicious and concerned.  He walked in after the man.  A few moments later he was back.

‘He’s just wandering around upstairs.’  Alex said.

‘That’s weird.  There’s something weird about him.’  I said.

‘I checked our room.  It’s definitely locked.’         

‘Did you say anything?’

‘No.’

‘Why not?’

‘What would I say?’

I shook my head at Alex, and went in to look for the man myself.  I couldn’t find him.  As I sat back down again outside, with a view into the reception area, he reappeared.  He wandered out of a side door, made a cursory look at a notice about the wifi password on the reception desk, glanced around, and exited out the back.  I got up again.  The fortification of port ensuring this thief would not be getting away with it.  The girl from reception was watching him, eyes narrowed.

‘Is he staying here?’  I asked her.

She nodded.  ‘I don’t like him.  He come with only plastic bag. No luggage.’

We followed him out the back.  He was sneaking around the back rooms.  When he saw us he straightened himself.

‘What are you doing?’  I challenged.

He walked towards us, his eyes unable to make a connection with mine.

‘I was looking for a chair.  There isn’t one in my room.’

‘A chair?’

He nodded.

‘What room are you staying in?  And under what name?’

‘805.’  He gave a name I couldn’t understand, but I asked the receptionist to check.  She confirmed it.

‘Sorry.’  I said.  ‘There have just been a few robberies.  You seemed to be wandering around, I made an assumption.  My name is Wendy.’  I held out my hand.

‘Xali.’  He said shaking my hand. 

We walked outside together.  I sat with Alex and he walked to where the rooms at the front were.

‘Something’s not right with him.  I just accused him of being a thief, and he still shook my hand.  He didn’t seem upset.  It’s weird.’  I said.

‘You can’t just accuse people of being thieves Wendy.’

‘You thought he was odd too.  Otherwise why did you follow him in.  I bet he tries those doors in a minute, when he thinks no one is looking.’

Xali called me over to him.  I ignored him.  I didn’t want to listen to him try and justify himself, to attempt to make a friend of me.  He walked inside and sat on the sofas in reception.  The owner approached him.  Shortly Xali left with his plastic bag, head low, ostracised, no longer welcome.  I followed him.     

‘So where you going now?  Try the doors of some other hotel rooms?’  I asked.

Xali stopped and leant up against a wall.  He shook his head.  Middle aged, Asian, defeated.  Intense sadness sat heavily in his eyes.  I saw shame gnawing at his soul.  The hostility I felt towards him waned, leaving just a pretence of it.

‘Will you help me Wendy?  I need help.  Please help.’

‘What?’ 

‘I have 3000 ringits (£600).  I need you to tie me to a chair.’

‘What the fuck.  Are you being serious?’

Xali nodded                                                                           

‘I need to you to tie me to a chair, only for an hour.’ 

There was a long pause.  He turned his face away from mine.  His shoulders rounded more, enfeebling him further. 

‘I’m a heroin addict.  I want to stop.  I get violent.  I’ll pay you.  Please don’t tell the man you are with.’

‘I can’t see any track marks on your arms.’

‘I smoke.  I am a respectable man. My wife and family don’t know.  In Singapore I have my own business.  Please, I need you to tie me to a chair.’

His sorrow was tangible, oppressive. 

‘I have come here for 2 nights, to get clean.’  He continued.

‘What’s in your bag?’  I asked.

Xali opened his plastic bag.  Inside was a thick coil of tough plastic rope.

‘You really were looking for a chair.’

Xali nodded.

‘Why are you telling me?’ I asked.

‘You seem open.  I like the way you talk.’  He replied.

I went and bought a couple of beers from the Chinese shop across the road, and sat on the curb with Xali as he told me his story.

He was 50, and owned a plastic mouldings company.  Sixteen months ago, he met some clients who he wanted to win business from.  He did what they did, to fit in with them, to win the contract.  They smoked heroin.  He couldn’t stop after the deal was completed.  So far he had managed to hide it from his wife and family, but the addiction was demanding more from him.  It was his plan to come to Kuala Lumpur for the weekend and find someone, female, not Chinese, to tie him to a chair, for the couple of hours the come-down ravaged him worst. 

On his forearms were inch long, wide cuts, healing badly.  Wounds from his last attempt to restrain himself, as he had struggled to work himself free.  He pressed me to tie him to the chair.  I wanted to help.  But Alex’s voice in my head chastised me, ‘What if he dies Wendy, that’s a manslaughter charge.  Don’t be an idiot.  You can’t tie strange men to chairs in cheap hotel rooms.’

His shame, that I had mistaken for the shady behaviour of a thief, was painful to watch.  But there was nothing I could do to help.  I told him I was sorry, and left him on the curb, staring into the gutter. 



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